Thoughts and Observations

Earlier this year, I joined a group who were reading and talking about the Archbishop of Canterbury’s Lent Book of 2023. The title of the book was Failure, and the Rt Revd Dr Emma Ineson wrote it. After reading and studying this book, I realised I was somewhat of a success at everyday failure. A statement which, perhaps, needs some explanation.

 

Two examples come to mind. The first began towards the end of last year when I decided that it would be a noble and patriotic duty to help ring the Church bells at the Coronation of King Charles. So, I joined the merry peel of campanologists at St Peter's to be instructed in the ancient art of English bell ringing.  After a few strenuous weeks, my success came when I realised that I had neither the talent, timing nor temperament needed for such an activity, so I successfully withdrew from the group. In my mind, it was not a failure but a success, as not ringing on the day meant their peels and changes were perfect. I would only have messed it up.

 

A poem by A. E. Housman best illustrates my second example of success through failure. I was introduced to Housman’s work by Colin Dexter, the author of the Inspector Morse series of novels. I enjoyed my chats with Colin as we both had an interest in an Oxford Charity. He was a pleasure to talk to and I learned much from his quiet intelligence and wit. I miss his company, as I am sure The Dew Drop Inn on Banbury Road also does. 

 

This poem was not published until after Housman’s death and it is simply number XVI in a slim volume called More Poems, published in 1936 and edited by his brother Laurence Housman. It is better known today as The Remorseful Day, as Colin Dexter used this phrase, from the poem, as the title of his final Inspector Morse novel.

 

How clear, how lovely bright, How beautiful to sight Those beams of morning play; How heaven laughs out with glee Where, like a bird set free, Up from the eastern sea Soars the delightful day.

 

To-day I shall be strong, No more shall yield to wrong, Shall squander life no more; Days lost, I know not how, I shall retrieve them now; Now I shall keep the vow I never kept before.

 

Ensanguining the skies How heavily it dies Into the west away; Past touch and sight and sound Not further to be found, How hopeless under ground Falls the remorseful day.

 

I have lost count of the number of days when I have woken up and planned all sorts of things that should be done, only to have succeeded, by the end of the day, having done very little. I am successful at not doing today what I can leave until tomorrow. I am not lazy; I am just successful at the economy of movement. Since I live in an empty nest, no one queries me, for example, “Why haven’t you taken the rubbish out?” using such words designed to prod me gently into action by pointing out my failings. The cat sitting on my lap and failing to move was always a good but unwelcome excuse. 

 

Making a success of small everyday failures is an important part of life; it is an indication of what to avoid. I learned very early that I could not kick a ball straight, so I avoided anything to do with football. I enjoyed games at school where I successfully played the injured sportsman and had to sit on the touchline. To this day, I can successfully claim to know nothing about our National sport, so please don’t ask me about the off-side rule. 

 

In the same vein, I am successful at not keeping lists of what needs to be done. It is all very well crossing off jobs as they are completed, but just to be left with a list of failures fills me with horror. I keep a list at the end of the day, but only of those things that have succeeded, which is a more positive arrangement. 

 

Success in failure is not to feel a failure. Feeling a failure can be draining, so I prefer the word remorseful. Failure suggests the end, while remorseful suggests a pause before success. As Yoda from StarWars says, “Do or Do Not, there is no try”. It is important to trust ourselves in our own abilities and not try the impossible; we cannot do everything. If failure does raise its ugly head, please find someone to talk to and help turn a failure into a success.