Thoughts and Observations

There was a young lady called Bright,

Whose speed was faster than light;

She set out one day

In a relative way

And returned on the previous night.

(Arthur Buller pub. Punch December 1923)

One month into 2024 and would someone please tell me what happened to 2023? It was there one moment and then gone, washed away by the rain. Time is relative, so it is said, but in my experience, some relatives have lousy timing.

The theory of relativity says that I should know where I am, but not where I am going, or I know where I am going but not where I am. Any relativity specialist out there, please write to the editor of this magazine with any corrections, not to me. The earlier sentence sums up my life completely, i.e. there is a great danger that I don’t know where I am or where I am going. This worries me: where did 2023 go, and what did I do? If I made you smile, great; if I forgot your birthday, sorry; if I annoyed you, I am not sure what I did, but I will try not to do it again, is all I can say. Thus, I am relatively lost as I do not know whether I am coming or going.

I need to pay more attention to 2024. Otherwise, I may lose that too. What I do remember over the past few years is that I have lost a few close and dear friends. People who had an impact on my life. I am not the first to say that no one is indispensable, but some are irreplaceable. New Year resolutions are there to be broken, but I will make sure that I value the people around me. We are all, in some small or large way, irreplaceable to those we know, and this year, especially, I am determined to recognise and acknowledge these qualities in the people I know and meet.

Paying more attention is a good theme for the year. I am no longer in the first flush of youth, and I spend too much time trying to open packets of anything from cheese to washing powder. Frighteningly, I have been known to resort to attacking them with the largest and sharpest knife I have, as all too often, the opening instructions are written in small and, to my ageing eyes, illegible print. Also, since the lockdown, I have received more deliveries from Amazon, DHL, Evri, etc. Now, I spent time wondering whether the cardboard box should be kept or broken up and recycled. My garage is full of empty boxes, but you never know; they may come in useful one day. Is there a group called Cardboard Anonymous? I may need to follow their Twelve Steps.

Another theme of the year, for me, needs to be forgiveness; let me explain. Once upon a time, I had a friend who I think suffered from something verging on hyperthymesia, which is defined as a condition of possessing an extremely detailed autobiographical memory i.e. it seemed to me that she could remember every detail of everything we had done in the past. People we had met, places we had been, what we did, ate, or thought and especially my faults. Our conversations were often punctuated by her saying things like, “You are not going to that again, are you? The last time (add every detail) was an embarrassment for everyone!”. Mind you, she was brilliant at forgiveness, but not forgetting. She held every memory, every slight, hardship, terror and joy. She could forgive but not let go. My memory is like a sieve; I forget easily but am unsure of forgiveness. Lack of forgiveness can lead to resentment and regret. Indeed, as Tommy Lee Jones in the film Men in Black 3 espouses, the most destructive force in the universe is regret. Forgetting is not a problem, but I must try to forgive before I forget and do away with resentment and guilt.

My mantra for this year, therefore, is paying more attention to those around me, forgiving and forgetting where necessary and appropriate. It is going to be a hard year for me. So, wish me luck, resilience, and all the best for 2024, as I wish you luck, resilience, and all the best for 2024.